


Bubbly

by sweet_witch_hella_knight



Category: That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: Drunkenness, F/M, Fluff, Hot Tub, Wedding Planning, and also glass cutting a hand accidentally, critic gets misgendered briefly so warning for that, cute rambling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 08:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12361920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_witch_hella_knight/pseuds/sweet_witch_hella_knight
Summary: Dorky fluffy one-shot right after the Green Lantern review where Hyper and Devil Boner prattle on about their wedding and love. While drunk.





	Bubbly

"Okay, okay, okay, but we should figure out, like, who your best man is gonna be and my maid of honor is gonna be and like..." The thought faded, and Hyper instead started giggling like mad.  
  
Devil Boner, sitting next to Hyper in the bubbling hot tub, looked at her a bit confused. "What's so funny, bone cruncher?"  
  
Hyper pulled herself together and said, "Just that...we're gonna get _married_..." She grabbed her third can of Busch Light and took a sip. "Like this is all real." The alcohol got to her easily, and she wasn't the best at staying on track to begin with.  
  
"Oh, I know, right?" Devil Boner took a swig from his own glass of gasoline, then slammed it down, almost cracking the bottom. "I gotta admit, I really did not think I would ever settle down like that, you know? I was like, this rebel without a cause, and now I actually _have_ my cause," he said, gesturing towards her.  
  
Hyper nodded profusely. "I mean, _I_ wanted to, since I was a little kid, but now it's like, holy shit, I'm _actually_ getting married. Like, whoa." She started giggling again, causing Devil Boner to chuckle back.  
  
"Okay so, what were you saying about the whole...maid of honor shit?"  
  
"Oh, yeah yeah yeah!" Hyper snapped back into wedding planning mode. "So who were you thinking about as best man, baby corn?"  
  
Devil Boner shook his head, like the question was ridiculously easy. "We gotta go with Benny, man. He's the only one I trust to keep me together in there." He turned towards the sliding door to the house, where Benny was inside watching TV, and started shouting. "Hey, _Benny_! You better be the best _frickin'_ best _frickin'_ man that a wedding could _ever_ have, or we're goin' around back so you can taste the barrel of Johnson Justice again!" Benny didn't react at all, either because he didn't hear or because he was very good at tuning out Devil Boner's drunken temper (and his regular temper, at that).  
  
Hyper smirked. "I don't see the problem with tasting Johnson Justice," she teased, moving her hand beneath the water towards his leg.  
  
"Later, battle axe." He patted her hand. "We're in here to chill in the water and just relax- oh, can the goddamn mosquitos get out of here already?! It's September, goddammit!" He grabbed his nearby gun and started shooting towards the pests, before Hyper eased his arm back down.  
  
"Baby, baby, baby. _Babyyyyy,_ " she cooed. "It's just bugs. You need to save the ammo for the people that _really_ bug us." A dopey smile spread over Hyper's face. "Ooh, that was like, a pun I didn't even mean to make."  
  
Devil Boner's anger was soothed looking at his giddy fiancee. "That's cuz you're so smart, you don't even have to try."  
  
Hyper's dopey smile got wider as she took another long sip of beer. After she put it down, she got back on topic. "But what about my maid of honor? I don't know _too_ many girls." She brushed her bangs out of her face. "Like, not that other girls don't totally love me, though."  
  
"Any girl that doesn't is missing out big-time," Devil Boner assured her. "Any _person_ , period."  
  
"Oh, thanks," Hyper beamed.  
  
Devil Boner thought a little bit and started chuckling again. "Oh, dude. Dude. What if we got the Nostalgia Critic as your maid of honor? I mean, when you can't get a girl, you may as well get _him_ as a replacement."  
  
Hyper snorted. "Oh my god, we do have to get Critic in on this somehow, but could we really do _that_?"  
  
"Fighter jet, we can do _anything._ " He took a gulp from his glass of gasoline. "Just gotta bribe him maybe, and if all else fails..." He crushed the glass in his hand. "...we'll just _force_ the sucker to do it!" Devil Boner then realized he had crushed glass in his hand, but simply clenched his fist to keep the blood in and carried on.  
  
Hyper laughed. "We are _such_ a power couple, pixie stick." She finished off the can of beer and handed it to him, letting him crush it against his steel-plated head to show off. It was one of the his least destructive and most endearing drunken habits.  
  
Hyper started giggling again until she burped. Had it been two years earlier, she would have worried more about the impression that left on him, but now it was just natural to do things like that around each other. He even responded with a belch of his own- his accompanied with a tiny burst of flame, the result of his pyrokinetic abilities mixed with the gasoline he'd been chugging.  
  
"Okay, you win there," Hyper chuckled. She lay her head against his shoulder and started musing about her special day again, mindlessly skimming the surface of the water with her hand. "God, I'm gonna be in a _real wedding dress._ That just feels so _unlike_ me." Her smile started to falter as her self-consciousness started seeping in. "You won't leave me if my dress doesn't look good on me, right?"  
  
Devil Boner quickly cupped her chin with his good hand. "Are you kidding me, gut-spiller? I wouldn't leave you for all the money, hell even all the _weaponry_ in the world."  
  
"I just always assumed you didn't like me in dresses is all."  
  
"When did I ever imply that?" He eyed his T-shirt lying by the hot tub. "I never would think you looked anything but beautiful and hot every second of the day!"  
  
"Well...remember like, two years ago and I was in that Belle dress? You said I looked pathetic."  
  
" _What?_ I didn't say that," Devil Boner insisted, wrapping his bloodied hand in his shirt for a quick fix.  
  
"No, no, I remember, I got back from the Nostalgia Critic and showed you the pictures and you said I looked horrible and sad and you thought, whoever put that dress on me made a huge mistake."  
  
Devil Boner slowly remembered what she was talking about. "No, no, no, babe. I said you looked _horribly sad._ You just looked so upset in the picture, I just wanted to strangle whoever made you upset by sticking you in that thing and making you into their doll or whatever the hell they did to you!" He was telling the truth- he had big plans to introduce those analysts to his trusty baseball bat for daring to say she would only ever be loved if she kept trying to fall in love with Critic.  
  
Hyper sniffed a bit. "Really?"  
  
"Yes, I didn't realize I wasn't clear enough there."  
  
"Oh, well...maybe my thoughts were kind of...fuzzy."  
  
"Oh, cuz we were moving me in that day too, right? Feels just like yesterday." Devil Boner got a little wistful. "I broke like, three lamps in that damn Pottery Barn, they got so mad at me. Good thing I blew them up before they got on our trail, right, chokehold?"  
  
He looked down to see Hyper was moving up his bare chest towards his face. "Because you make me all fuzzy, that's why. You even _look_ a little fuzzy now," she slurred, blinking a few times.  
  
Devil Boner smiled, amused at how giddy and touchy she got when she was wasted, but not wanting to take advantage of it. It wasn't fun if she wasn't all there, anyway, and he wasn't a _douche._ "Honey, you've had so much to drink tonight."  
  
Hyper started petting his spiky hair. "Well, yeah! It's my first time drinking with my _fiaaaanceeeeee,"_ she said, drawing out the word to cherish it. "It's special, isn't it?" She tried to lean in and kiss him, but couldn't make it right on the lips, and ended up smooching his neck. Once she found herself nuzzled in there, she decided to stay.  
  
She lifted her head a little bit. "I love you," she said dreamily. "I love you _soooooooo_ much, and now you get to be mine and I get to be yours...." She trailed off again and plopped her head right back onto his shoulder.  
  
Knowing she was ready to fall asleep, Devil Boner hoisted her out of the tub and started carrying her with all his might to the house, letting her keep snuggling into him. "You wanna go to bed?"  
  
Hyper looked up at him, flustered. "Can we bring out Johnson Justice like you said?"  
  
It was a tempting offer but the wrong time. "How about we watch a movie until you get tired? Your pick, as always."  
  
Hyper thought for a little bit before saying, " _Beauty and the Beast_."  
  
"The original or the remake?"  
  
"...Yes."  
  
He shook off her non-answer. "We'll decide when we get there." Devil Boner was buzzed too, but he wanted to keep her company so she wouldn't get hurt. That was his purpose now, and probably now forever.  
  
He held onto her tighter, thinking about how she was the perfect blend of fun and loose and beautiful and steady, and how many times she'd kept _him_ from doing stupid shit while _he_ was drunk as a skunk, and just how awesome it was that he had someone to fight for who was willing to fight for him...  
  
Shit, he couldn't let himself cry _now._ He was probably going to cry during the wedding but not before then. Alcohol was a motherfucker but he was way stronger than that.  
  
Hyper started giggling yet again. "You're carrying me _bridal style,_ you know."  
  
"Consider it practice for the real thing."  
  
"I can't believe it's finally _real_ ," she mumbled yet again. "You're gonna be the best husband ever."  
  
Devil Boner kissed his fiancee on the forehead. "You're gonna be the best wife ever."


End file.
